You ever want something so bad that when you get told you can't your heart just breaks? Well that is how I felt when we got the call in December of 2015 that all our embryos were not viable. It absolutely shattered me! Since then I have been working on repairing my broken heart and it hasn't always been easy. This birthday was supposed to be different. Today, that is all I keep telling myself over and over. It plays like a broken record player.
"Why did this have to happen to us?" That's the million dollar question right there. I must have asked myself this a thousand times and yet I still don't have an answer. I don't think I ever will but I at least have come to terms with the fact that my husband and I are infertile. At first it was scary to say it out loud but now...oh who am I kidding! Saying it out loud still royally sucks. It's just a reminder that I will never be able to get pregnant or experience child birth. I know it sounds like I am not over this but I am...kinda. Personally I think that knowing I can't get pregnant will always hurt. But over the last few months I have realized that my ultimate goal was always to be a mother and I can still do that. It may not be the way I had hoped for but I do have other options.
Other places you can find me:
I am linking up with Amanda from Running with Spoons